Memories of the Future

Non sense, coffee, dark chocolate and a summary of bitter reality.

We met in a very weird scenario, in very weird busy times, in amazingly unusual way, we met. I am not getting into the details of our meeting since you are very aware of them. However, we did meet. And we met again and again.

The unusual meeting was a trigger to a very unusual relationship. How can you open to someone from the first time? Everyone has so many skeletons in the closet and no one is willing to share them all.

Everyone has a weak spot, but not everyone is aware of it. We do lots of gambling and risks when we share, when we expose our inner thoughts, when we tell, when we talk and let go. Well, we met! I don’t know if it was meant to be or we worked hard together to make it “meant to be”……. I can’t answer that. Maybe you can.

While being older and more experienced than you for sure, you managed to teach me a lot, and I’ve learned so much. You’ve showed me how to express what’s inside in a very touching way. You’ve taught me how to be frank as much as I desire and how to hide the rest. You were the ONLY one in my life that I can be really me. I can express my deepest darkest thoughts and not being worried that I will be judged. I’ve learned that most people are devils within no matter how tender they are…what a tough teacher I had!! You taught me how people can be so loving and so mean at once. You have made me discover how much energy I have inside and how much I’m capable. Sometimes I revive the old days and my heart smiles. They were very nice, weird, wild and painful. I’d always miss and I’d always retrace you in many things I do or places I go.

We had our long chats, talks, discussions and arguments. Chocolate and coffee were our best companions during our times together.

I’ve always felt the guard stopping me from opening up and I never listened. You became a very close friend in no time. You always managed to open my head, read my thoughts and be there for me.

I just wish I can re-live my friend. I wish I can get that same person that I can tell everything to without shame, without reservations and without boundaries. That friend that will always accept me and loved me. That friend that will always listen without me talking and feel me without me touching.

“In a nut shell, as they say, to put in simple words. You were (and still) an amazing breeze that stroked my life with no warning. You came into my life and you never asked my permission, or maybe you did and I managed to say yes.”

This is exactly what I miss. Now I realized it. I miss my “Anyway friend”. The friend that will always be there no matter what. The friend that will really love me anyway………….

I shared with you my dark side, my loving side. I shared my secrets, my life, my feelings and my thoughts. I shared everything and you kept on being there anyway. I know I am crazy, but no one knew about it. I told you about it all and you kept being there anyway.

I miss you my “Anyway” friend. I miss the coffee and the dark chocolate and I miss the breeze.

Rashican, Sudan, 2010